OMGICANCHANGETHISSHIT's Blog
Heyyyyyyyy
I deleted most of my old posts because I realized what an emo pussy I was being and since I hate that past I decided to delete it...I left some cuz those are poem I just wrote for english class and I like them. Umm. Well whats new? Im in college now. Getting through my first year and I got accepted for the Disney College program so next semester if any of you want to say hi Ill be @ Disney...Ill be in the food industry XD I still dont know which park though Ill be posting that later when Im told. Umm wel I havent really changed much although I do see the world with better eyes now that I left the old scumbag of a boyfriend I had and found someone who renewed me and I love him to death. I got to find out who my real friends are not surprisingly one of them has been my best friend since 1st grade and I love her. I still want to be a rockstar, yes XD but I still have to get a band...havent gotten around to doing that yet. Umm my dreams of rockstardom will never go away for what it seems even though reality strikes sometimes and I know theres a very slim chance of ANYTHING happening. Well anyways Ive picked up photography if you want to see my online portfolio please visit www.vivcrazypantz.deviantart.com hope you like my work. and yeah thats all I have to write for now. If ANYONE reads this pile of shit comment if you want if not well suit yourself.
Missing Person *Poem*
Missing Person
It’s so idiotic the way I fell for it.
First known, first trusted.
That’s the rule I always followed.
Should’ve known better.
Should’ve trusted the voice in the back of my head.
I went along with all that you said.
Then it was like you changing faces in the middle of a dream;
Or more like a nightmare, then you backstab me.
I thought you were true.
I thought you were real.
Maybe I should stop thinking and start knowing.
Maybe not.
Make a change.
Make a move.
Do something for yourself for once.
Not likely.
You see, I always rely on others for my happiness.
Stupid, I know. But it’s the only thing that gets me through the day.
Maybe I should stop following and start leading.
Maybe not.
Never follow others. Be yourself.
How can someone be themselves when they don’t even know who they are?
No identity.
blah
Losing you felt so surreal. I never thought you would mean so much to me.
You were my Angel.
The only one who saw me for who I really was. And you liked me anyways.
I never understood that.
Then again, I can never understand anything good.
How could I let you pass me by?
I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.
I don’t even know where you went.
Deleted your number.
How stupid of me.
Now I’m looking back and regretting all the time and opportunities lost.
I still hate myself so much for this.
Never knew regret would be so bad.
Pounds my ears so loud it makes me want to cut them off.
I even wonder if you remember me or if I’m just a lost memory.
Please call me and tell me you love me again.
You don’t have the slightest idea of how much this hurts.
Fuck this shit.
I’m going back to my dreams.
Poem I wrote
“Firsts”
I remember the first time we met,
as we watch falling stars and eagles soaring through the night sky.
Illuminated by the full moon we lay in the damp grass talking about our lives and our past.
Catching up feels like growing up.
You go past those memories as if they were happening again for the first time.
Remembering your first kiss feels so real.
Fresh memories.
Old memories.
Memories you didn’t even know you had.
They say that when you’re about to die you see your whole life flash by.
I’m thinking that this is pretty much what that feels like.
We get older and life goes by like a stranger.
You know, those who you think you’ve seen before but you can never put your finger on where or when you have.
Feels weird, doesn’t it?
One day you’re going to pre-school for the first time,
The next, you’re buying your own house.
I guess you never forget you firsts.
